Cardinal's death in the gloom: One year later
Love outweighs fear
Skeletor (left) and Bobbitt
The death of Taylor “Cardinal” Phelps during an F3 workout last January 11 shook F3 Knoxville, and all of F3 Nation, to its core.
I asked two men who knew and loved Cardinal and were there, Tyson “Skeletor” Canup and Kevin “Bobbitt” Gray to reflect on that day and what has happened since.
To quote F3 co-founder Tim “OBT” Whitmire, they discovered they had built the ship that rescued them.
For more on Cardinal, read here and here.
Thursday is the anniversary of Cardinal’s death. His friends are asking F3 Nation to complete the workout Cardinal was leading when he died. That workout is posted at the bottom of this newsletter.
Tyson “Skeletor” Canup
F3RoCo Nan’tan
Losing our friend last year was a tough time for us men who were holding down the fort at Rampart, an F3 Knoxville AO at the time. I thought that F3 in Roane County would be over. After we lost a man running our workouts, I wasn’t sure if the community would support our presence, much less our growth.
I was completely wrong.
In the immediate aftermath, I stayed close to Bobbitt, and we made sure to keep close contact with each man who was present for that tragedy.
We lost Cardinal on a Wednesday. We had a weekly ruck scheduled on Thursdays, of which Cardinal was a regular attendee. In fact he had just purchased a ruck and ruck plate to step up his efforts. Bobbitt and I decided that Cardinal would have wanted us to continue putting in the work, so we went ahead with the scheduled ruck.
I could not tell you who was there besides Bobbitt. He and I were out front leading the group. We typically use rucks as a fellowship opportunity, but this ruck was different. We started off in normal fashion at 5:15 down a big hill at a shuffle. He and I were side by side in silence. Each moment was heavy, but being there with brothers even in silence was therapeutic. We knew we needed each other, and we knew we didn’t need to talk, just ruck in the silence. We were a mile or two in and he and I shared only a few words.
“You OK?”
“Yeah.”
“You good?”
“I’m good.”
Not that the two of us weren’t close already, but that ruck made Bobbitt my brother for life.
The weeks after the great outpouring of love we received and was shown to Cardinal’s family were tough, yes, but instead of our little AO slowing down in the dead of winter to a skeleton crew, we started to pick up FNGs. The community was behind us because of the way F3 showed up to care for Cardinal’s family. A typical beatdown grew from eight to 10 to 15 to 20.
We worried about some men, and we checked in on them regularly, and some were steadily there. In private conversations there were fears of what happened to Cardinal happening to another of us. We changed the way we talked when it came to health. We suggested that each man make a commitment to his family to be healthy, which meant at a minimum getting a physical and not just once but yearly.
The men of Rampart also raised $1,200 and bought an AED and a first-aid kit that would be carried by the AOQ from beatdown to beatdown.
Our AOQ at the time, Bobbitt, is a pastor, and he was called to a different church mere months later, which meant turning leadership over to me. With the help of F3 Knoxville, we have turned that one AO into a new region called F3RoCo with four AOs.
All of the men who were there when Cardinal passed are still actively serving in F3 RoCo minus one, who is on the brink of rejoining us. We still check in on each other emotionally and have a brotherhood made stronger through the loss of Cardinal. It is weird to say, but the Lord used that tragedy to build something beautiful for us here in Roane County.
In the year since he passed, I still bring him up in COT from time to time. He still makes me laugh. Once he called me out because I showed up to a beatdown only in tights and didn’t notice until I went to put my hands in my pockets after the beatdown. He said he noticed but just thought I was a weirdo.
We are completing his VQ on Thursday on the one-year anniversary of his death. I plan on sharing the story of how it all went down for the COT and how that tragic moment turned out to be a blessing.
We have continued to pour out love to Cardinal’s wife, Andrea, and children, Clay (Cardinal Jr.) and Evie. It has been wonderful to see them grow and recover from the loss of their father.
We have attended ceremonies at his middle school to see Cardinal Jr. win awards for being a great student. We have been present for Evie’s dance recitals. We have helped renovate the home that his wife grew up in to make it ready for them to move into—they had to move out of the church parsonage they had been living where Cardinal was a pastor.
We can’t forget the tragedy that hit their family just days before Cardinal passed away. Andrea’s father died tragically as a result of burning brush in his yard.
We painted the entire interior of the house for her, and F3 Knoxville covered the cost. We have arranged to send her flowers on Thursday to let her know that we love her and the kids, and we are still here when she needs us.
It has been great honor to be a friend of Cardinal. It has created brotherhoods between men that cannot be broken, and I am thankful to have known him.
--
Kevin “Bobbitt” Gray
I’m not sure I can add much to that. Skeletor nailed it.
Man, especially the ruck the day after. Well put, Skeletor. I knew it, but to hear you describe what was going on that morning exactly as I felt it says how real that was. I remember a lot of talking from the guys behind us as we went, which was fine. I’m sure they needed that. But Skeletor’s silent presence next to me meant more than any words of comfort. Just knowing another brother felt the same heartache was all the comfort we needed. I’ll never forget that, Skeletor.
I’m at Parliament in F3 Chattanooga now. No position. Just enjoying being one of the PAX again.
I will say that I really did have a hard time going back to F3. It wasn’t a question of whether I would, it was just that it was very difficult. I struggle with a mild heart arrhythmia, so Card’s event really got in my head. Several of us confided in each other at coffeeteria one morning that we struggled with a bit of hypochondria after what had happened.
It opened up the conversation for men to talk honestly about our fears and realize we’re not alone in that. The fear of showing back up that I experienced was nearly every morning for a while. But it was always outweighed by my love for my brothers. We supported each other through it until things could almost feel normal again.
I’m extremely proud of the leaders that rose to the occasion during and after this tragedy. And I’m extremely proud of what these men have done since. There are a lot of sad clowns in Roane County who are being transformed into High Impact Men because they heard something about this group. Now they’re a dang region! That says something about what God can do in what seems like a hopeless situation.
THE WORKOUT
Warm-o-Rama:
15 Side Straddle Hops
10 Tempo Merkins
10 Flutter Kicks
10 Little Baby Arm Circles Forward
10 Little Baby Arm Circles Backward
10 Hallelujahs *
10 Knoxville Cherry Pickers
20 Sec. Samson Hold**
10 Willie Mays Hayes
The Thang:
Choose two points about 100 yards from each other - these will be Point A and Point B. Starting at "Point A" perform Set 1 exercises, then run to "Point B" and repeat those same exercises. Run back to "Point A".
Repeat this sequence for exercise Sets 2, 3, and 4.
Set 1
5 Burpees
5 Big Boys
5 Heels to Heaven
Set 2
10 Burpees
10 Little Baby Crunches
10 Mt. Climbers Double Count
Set 3
15 Burpees
15 Air Squats
15 Freddy Mercury’s
Set 4
20 Burpees
* Hallelujahs = a shoulder burn exercise. Hands up at ear level. Raise up to full extension I cadence. 1 up, 2 down, 3 up, 4 down.
** Samson Hold = Arms extended straight out like your pushing against two pillars.
SIGN UP NOW FOR Year 4 of MABA. There’s plenty of time to log burpees. MABA—Make America Burpee Again—is an annual challenge in which participants do 100 burpees a day (on average) every day in January.
Loneliness is killing us, middle-aged men especially, and MABA is a cure. You can’t be lonely when you’re doing 100 burpees a day with your friends.
MABA’s theme is Fall down. Get back up. Together.
We all fall down. We all have to get back up. We must not do it alone.
Sign up today and challenge your friends, enemies and frenemies to join you. If your kids and/or wife are doing burpees with you, please log them as a separate entry. The kids especially will love that, and so will you! Every burpee counts!
Log your burpees here. And you’re not going to do 3,100 burpees and not buy a shirt, are you?