Groans and war stories of late night battles
The highs and lows of life with a 'No Burpee Left Behind' mentality
Sign up/log your burpees here.
You’re not going to do 100 burpees a day for a month and not buy a shirt are you?
My back hurts, my knees hurt, my thighs hurt, my wrists don’t yet but I know they will soon. Other than I’m doing spectac—bhygygyvbh—whoops, fell asleep on my keyboard again.
After six days of MABA, we have more people doing more burpees than any of us would have guessed was possible (or advisable) when we started this completely stupid and utterly pointless challenge two years ago.
Participants on four continents are on pace for more than 2 million burpees, which is great but what’s even better is the stories of fellowship by burpees that are floating into MABA world headquarters. We are bonding through the physical pain and suffering. The theme is Fall down. Get back up. Together, and we are nailing all three.
Keep going through the end of this month.
Then keep going after that, too.
‘It’s amazing how something as terrible as a burpee can get a region going.’
The interview subject this issue is Chris Reiter, aka Shute, the Nantan of F3 Blue Ridge. His region is tops by far in total burpees and total participants outside of the St. Louis region (where MABA was born and raised).
You guys are putting up big numbers — by far the biggest outside of St. Louis. What is going on out there?
Our region’s motto this year is “No Burpee Left Behind.” We have our PAX and 2.0s in full force knocking them out. You may not know this, but we had quite the battle last year with JeffCo (a region in suburban St. Louis). It was neck and neck for most of the month, but they ended up pulling away with some last-minute mega-numbers.
MABA really brought our region together and our 2.0s were a big part of the success. 2.0s account for 12 of the 40 registered PAX. My boys already are busting out the burpees with dad this year. They are inspired by seeing dad, who inevitably checks his phone before bed and sees Katniss just knocked out another 50 burpees today. Crap—now dad is doing burpees in the loft. Then the kids join and bam, we just took the leaderboard! Then I wake up only to see Gigawatt or some other freak of nature like Trayn-Rek recorded 1,000 burpees.
As part of my “I Will” credo this year, I committed to 200 burpees a day. It already feels a bit ambitious, but when the Nantan signs up in a big way it gets everyone else committing. I also encouraged our Qs to have a 15-minute pre-beatdown burpee session, plus additional burpees built into the workout. Most of us use a simple HIIT timer to bust out 10 burpees at a time. With the “No Burpee Left Behind” motto, we are pushing the PAX to sign-up and record the burpees no matter how many.
It’s amazing how something as terrible as a burpee can get a region going. MABA induced groans and war stories of late night JeffCo battles can be heard at every F3 Blue Ridge beatdown.
When you say MABA brought the region together, give me an example.
Last year our region started MABA with a collective groan. There’s just something about a burpee, maybe it’s the name, maybe it’s the fact it reminds me of hit-its in wrestling. I don’t know, but I do know that F3 Blue Ridge figured it out. There’s just something about doing completely stupid and utterly pointless things that brings the PAX together and gets us fired up. There were many nights last year when my phone would ping “JeffCo just upped us by 250, who’s with me to do 25 more?” Next thing you know, I put down my book, hop out of bed, curse about how sore my wrists are, and start busting out burpees. Part of it’s the competition, part of it is knowing that our brothers were counting on us and we were doing them together.
You’re committed to do 200 burpees a day. Are you going to try to average 200 or do 200 every single day, and why?
200 BPD (Burpees Per Day – an average of your burpees in the month of January). I don’t know if the rest of F3 is like this, but in Blue Ridge. everything you say or do during a beatdown can and will be used against you. For example, we have a guy, to preserve his identity we’ll call him Inbox, during his VQ he had us say “F3” when we got to the 3rd rep. That stuck.
We also do Side-Stradle-Hoffs for Hoff. And I got stuck with “Shute side” which is your left – in case you are completely undisciplined and do not know the proper side to start on. Anyway, during my COT when I took over as Nantan, part of my speech included an “I Will” statement, where I was committing myself to leading the charge and subsequently committing myself to constant “I Will” reminders from the PAX. When MABA came around I naturally said I Will to 200 BPD.
What was I thinking?
On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being, “every day she tells me she married an idiot,” and 10 being “she fans herself every time I come into the room,” what has your M’s reaction been?
My M is the most wonderful, beautiful, and supportive M in all of F3. This is going out in a nationwide email, right?
What about your boys? What have they gotten out of doing something completely stupid and utterly pointless with their old man?
It’s the kids that really get us going. I came home from my 10-year-old son JumpShot’s basketball practice to find my 12-year-old son, 100K, and my 8-year-old daughter, Draw4, absolutely sweating it out in the family room doing burpees.
Twelve 2.0s are registered in our region, and they are crushing your 2.0s! lol. I have to say though, they are bummed about the stats this year. Last year you could click on a region and see the leaders. They were all in a giant competition with each other. It was cool to see how they came together to support us old guys.
So yeah, no burpee left behind in January for F3 Blue Ridge. JeffCo is crushing it, but they better check their 6, cause Blue Ridge is coming!
Here’s my “I Will” statements:
Who’s going to submit their lives to Jesus and His leadership? I will.
Who’s going to love their Ms and make sacrifices so that they can have a great marriage? I will.
Who’s going to teach their children truth and discipline them? I will.
Who’s going to model fitness and health in their home? I will.
Who’s going to grow and connect with other brothers at 2nd F events this year? I will.
Who’s going to make 3rdF a priority and pray for the PAX and walk with them through life’s struggles? I will.
Who’s going to post the most times next year? I will.
Who’s going to show up in the freezing rain and howling winds of the gloom? I will.
Who’s going to learn leadership in Grow School and spend the night rucking around DC with Hightower and his crazy Capital gang? I will.
Who’s going to win the winter challenge this year? I will.
Who’s going to carry two coupons with one hand? I will.
A total waste of time that you’ll watch again and again
I already thought there was something wrong in the best possible way with the men of F3 Blue Ridge. Then I watched this and I know it so much more.
More on the $10,000 burpee challenge
An F3 St. Charles PAX donated $1 for every burpee completed at The Bayou on Tuesday. He set a $10,000 limit, and we hit that and kept going. The local CBS station showed up and broadcast a story about it. You can watch that here.
I emailed the Shriners media department to ask for a quote about the uniqueness of using burpees as a fundraising tool and the answer was pitch perfect:
“We’ve had people play banjos, sell rocks, hawk onions and even raise livestock to fundraise for our mission. However, we’re certain having 72 men do 10,000 burpees at 5:30am in the morning is a first for Shriners Children’s St. Louis! Stay strong, guys. We need you to do another 10,000 next year!”
Leaderboard as of Friday morning
Region Name Total
Alliance Trayn-Rek 3100
JeffCo Handball 2825
JeffCo Madoff 2700
JeffCo Baghdad Bob 2095
Spirit of STL Gumbo 1896
Jacksonville Bartles and Jaymes 1856
JeffCo Blanks 1675
Wheaton Tortuga 1660
JeffCo T-Rex 1600
Blue Ridge Katniss 1490
Send proof of the weird places you do burpees
The annual “doing burpees in crazy places” is proceeding. Video or photo evidence is preferred so I can share it. Highlights from previous years include the Grand Canyon, multiple airplanes, the roof of a house and whatever the ice rink you play curling on is called.
Who are you?
A bunch of you have filed burpees under the “none” region and started your names with MHJ. Welcome! Y’all are doing great. Shoot me a note and tell me who you are.
I had 1620 as of Friday morning but I probably took too long to write my numbers in... I think that's actually the hardest part of the challenge! Hats off to the guys that broke 2k that quickly, that's no joke!