MABA co-founder SlowPitch brings the heat

Also: All aboard the Trolley train for an easy trip to 350 burpees

Log your burpees here.

In this newsletter: MABA co-founder SlowPitch is higher than he thinks, the Nation crushes the MABA founders and one easy trick to do 350 burpees in a day.

Make America Burpee Again (MABA) is a nationwide CSAUP in which each of us is doing 3,100 burpees in 31 days. Fall down. Get back up. Together.

His name is SlowPitch but he brings the heat

I’m a thieving copycat. When I see a PAX with behavior I want to replicate, I try to steal from him and turn what is his into mine. That brings me to SlowPitch, a co-founder of MABA and the PAX most responsible for making it run smoothly.

He preaches the value of having good habits, an attribute I have long coveted and only rarely displayed. More important, he lives those good habits out. He is as intentional a man as I’ve ever met. No joke: An hour after I typed the previous sentence about his intentionality, I texted him to ask for a podcast recommendation. He told me to listen to one called “On Purpose.”

On Sunday, my pastor (F3 Tulip) preached on discipleship; what is F3 if not sweat-soaked, gloom-based discipleship? We need to be discipled to make good decisions. “How can I know what it looks like,” Tulip said, “If I don’t see someone looking like it?”

I immediately thought of SlowPitch. He is the embodiment of “someone looking like it.” He posts with such steady consistency that if he’s not there I assume his house is on fire and he’s (probably) dousing it with his HIMness.

He doesn’t just say, “I want to get better,” and then wonder why he doesn’t, like so many sad clowns. He says, “I want to get better,” and then lives his life in such a way as getting better is inevitable.

Also he’s a beast. His nickname’s SlowPitch, but his beatdowns bring the heat. (You’ll see what I mean at the MABA finale convergence, details below.) What’s funny is he has no idea. I mean, he knows he was down here when he joined us in the summer and that he’s up here now. But he doesn’t realize how high up is. I’ve tried to tell him. He ain’t hearing it.

In a world over-run with men who immodestly talk about what they can do, whether they actually can or not, he humbly talks about getting better, always getting better. And he lives out the habits that will help him do so.

Armstrong challenges the Nation: Try the burpee test

This came in via email from Armstrong, an F3 PAX in Dayton: “I’d like to suggest that the Nation throw down a challenge for each region to hold a MABA beatdown (100 burpees/run a mile/50 burpees/run a mile) during the last week of February. This would incentivize the PAX to keep doing burpees, and give them four weeks to improve their running. I think Saturday the 27th would be ideal, but each AO could choose for themselves.

“Not suggesting score-keeping or anything, just a general ‘What’s Next? challenge’ we could reference.” Randy Dinnison, F3 Armstrong, Dayton

Down the stretch they come!

There are six days left. That means (depending on your pace) you have to do 600 burpees to hit the goal of 3,100. I hate to tell you this, but you, alone, by yourself, don’t got this. But you, in the Gloom, surrounded by the PAX, most definitely got this. Fall down. Get back up. Together.

The original, individual goal was 3,100. Are you close to your goal? Can you see the end? Are you ready to sprint toward it? If you’re going to make a big run for it, start now. Imagine yourself, weeks from now, crushing a beatdown because you prepared by crushing this MABA challenge. Push yourself but don’t hurt yourself. (Related: If you haven’t been submitting your burpees, please do so.)

The original collective goal was 1 million. We aren’t close. If we all go like hell, we’ll make it.

But 1 million is just a number, and a pointless one at that.

Preblast: 2 p.m. CT, January 31: A virtual MABA convergence on its final day, live from STL

There will be burpees. Lots and lots of burpees. So many burpees. All of them broadcast live on our Facebook page. Our sufferfest will last approximately an hour.

How to look good doing a burpee

MABA t-shirts are available. Order here. Patches to come soon. They’re beautiful—easily the greatest design commemorating an attempt to do 3,100 burpees in 31 days I’ve ever seen. Many thanks to Short Circuit for the design.

Suns out, guns out: A few burpees short of 400

That’s double-respect Sandcrab in Jacksonville taking a break from burpees on the beach. We challenge you to send photo/video evidence of yourself doing burpees in a strange place. Whether that’s because you’re a few burpees short of 400 and need to knock them out wherever you happen to be … or because you’re just a weirdo doesn’t matter. Whoever submits proof of himself doing a burpee in the weirdest place wins a MABA t-shirt. It has to be in the course of MABA. We have a new contender! Bartles and Jaymes invented Swurpees. He pushed his daughter on the swing and did a burpee as she soared away from him. Her return coincided with his jump, so instead of clapping, he pushed her.

Get to 350 burpees a day with this 1 easy trick

This comes from F3 Trolley in Knoxville: “I’m a programmer, and I work from home in my office on the computer all day. I set a 25-minute timers, then take a five-minute break.

“When my 5 minute ‘break’ arrives, I do 10 burpees every minute, so at the end of my break I have done 50 burpees.  With this technique I hit 350 burpees today and don't feel half as winded as when I did when I randomly tried to 20 or 30 at a time during my breaks.”

Final thought: Keep kicking our butts

Among the many reasons I love you MABA-maniacs spread across F3 Nation, this is near the top: You are kicking our rear ends. At my AO, The Last Stop, we have been obsessed with MABA. We made it up, and it’s all we talk about. The banter on the text chain among the original MABA-maniacs is so constant that at least one of us has muted it at work so he can actually, you know, work.

Every single beatdown this month has had 100 burpees, minimum. Blackops, runs, 2.0 workouts, you name it, we’re burpeeing there. Our kids are burpeeing, our wives are burpeeing, our dogs are burpeeing. You would think, then, that given our focus, we’d be dominating the scoreboard.

Nope.

Not even close.

The highest ranking MABA founder is 16th. I’m on pace for 5,000 damn burpees this month and I’m not even sniffing the top 25.

In the next issue: An STL CSAUP power ranking.