The most interesting question an interview subject has ever asked me
On rock climbing, MABA and living a life of gratitude
I crammed my hand into an opening at eye level and found purchase for my feet on a knob below me. I hugged Binou’s Crack, a rock climb in Utah’s Donnelly Canyon, and caught my breath.
I looked down. Far below me, holding the ropes, my ropes, the ropes keeping me from falling, was my guide, Kitty Calhoun. As tired as I was, I knew I hadn’t so much climbed the rock face as I was pulled up it by Calhoun, who spent most of her life ascending the most challenging mountains in the world.
When I met Calhoun, we shook hands. Her hands are like oven mitts made of steel. She could have picked me up and threw me around. Click here for my full profile on Calhoun (from which this newsletter draws), which dropped today.
Having Calhoun spot for me on the climb was like having Tiger Woods line up my putt, Steph Curry teach me to shoot jump shots or Jeff Gordon give me driving lessons.
Sports Illustrated called her “indefatigable” and “one of the world’s most-accomplished Alpine climbers,” and that was more than 25 years ago. She has taught climbing to Navy SEALS and nervous newbies and everyone in between. She is co-owner of a business called Chicks Climbing and Skiing. Under her photo on the home page, it says simply, “legend.”
Long after our interview, I still think almost daily about a question Calhoun asked me: “Do you ever feel guilty about how your life turned out?”
She was really asking about herself. What she has — a life rich in experience — and what she has given away (same) have been much on her mind as the prime of her climbing career has ended and the next phase of it has begun. What did she do to deserve the career she has had? And what has she done with it? She sometimes feels as if she might be selfish, a tension that she has wrestled with for years.
Through much of her career, she focused only on the next great climb. That made it possible for her to become an incredible climber. That’s no longer enough. Now she wants to climb with a purpose beyond herself. This is how Calhoun explained it: “There’s a bigger world out there than just how hard I can climb,” she says. As co-owner of Chicks, she passes on what she knows to other women, who absorb it and pass it on to still more.
She’s living a life of gratitude. The takeaway for me, for you, for everybody, is obvious, or I hope so at least. Substitute whatever you’re good at for “how hard I can climb.” How can you share what you know, what you love, what you’ve learned?
In my case, it would be “how many cool stories I can write.” Spurred on in part by Calhoun’s question, I started inviting friends on my travel assignments. I figured they would get free rental cars, free hotels, sometimes free food, sometimes free adventures. In return, I would get the joy of sharing my adventures with them.
I knew this already, but I know it more now, thanks in part to Calhoun: Everything about life is better if you experience it in community.
Which brings me to Year 2 of MABA (Make America Burpee Again).
I’ve written extensively about the monthlong burpee sufferfest from this January. It was so terrible—and awesome, and life-affirming, and hilarious—my fellow organizers and I can’t wait to do it again.
It will be largely the same as last year: MABA will be a nationwide challenge in which each participant will do 3,100 burpees in January. You can do 100 every day or spread them out.
In the inaugural year, we did it just to do it. But we got so much out of it last year (do you ever feel guilty about how MABA turned out?), this year, we will do it for a purpose: To work toward ending the scourge of loneliness. MABA’s motto: Fall down. Get Back Up. Together.
The sign-up sheet will be available soon. I encourage you to grab as many friends as you can and sign up. If you do it alone, you are missing the point entirely.
As I did last year, I’ll “cover” MABA through this newsletter. One tweak will be I’ll be soliciting guest writers. I would love for many of you to think about Calhoun’s question. What can you share, what should you share, from your life as an expression of gratitude?
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To celebrate me turning 50, my friends and I hiked 50 miles, biked 50 miles and canoed 50 miles, all in one withering five-day trip to Wisconsin. Read about it here.
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