12 things I'm looking forward to about taking 12 teen-age girls to see the Taylor Swift movie

You won't believe No. 5. Or 9. 6 won't shock you. But 10 might.

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I’m taking my two daughters and 10 (!!!) of their friends to see Taylor Swift’s concert movie this weekend.

Somehow, in this endless season of Taylor Swift, we haven’t seen the movie yet. I can’t be sure of this, but we might be the only 13 sentient people on earth who can say that. For a while I was too busy trying not to die in Wales, but now I’m back, and the movie can’t start soon enough.

This is what I’m looking forward to.

1. Singing in our Kia Sedona (don’t be jealous) on the way there, especially Love Story. 

2. And on the way back, especially whatever song is best in the movie.

3. The sheer lunacy as we load up my minivan in my driveway …

4. And unload it when we get there … after I point out 14 times that there are 13 of us, and that’s Swift’s favorite number or lucky number or both or whatever and yes, I double-majored in journalism and political science and this is what I’m writing about 29.5 years later.

5. My Eras outfit. I'm going as 1989. I'll wear a Rush T-shirt, jeans and backward baseball hat because that's what I wore every day in 1989. (Says daughter: YOU’RE NOT GOING TO WEAR THE RUSH SHIRT WITH THE NAKED BUTT-GUY ON THE FRONT, ARE YOU?!? Says me: Yes.)

6. Shake It Off. This is TayTay’s best song and I will hear no argument to the contrary except for from Exile and All Too Well (short version). I expect seeing her perform Shake It Off—3 minutes, 39 seconds of pop perfection—will be like seeing da Vinci sketch Mona Lisa’s face … or at the very least like the seeing guy who did dogs playing poker draw an ace.

7. Arguing with the girls about the ridiculousness of remaking Shake It Off, which gets released tonight on 1989 Taylor's version. Why mess with perfection? A list of other things I think are not improvable: 1. The Chronicles of Narnia except for The Horse and His Boy, which blows. 2. Limelight. 3. 30 Rock. 4. Raiders of the Lost Ark until the plane takes off from the river. 5. A Parliament of Whores. 6. The Mitchell episode of MST3K.

8. The other day I drove my daughter and her friends all over creation, and they spent forever going Swift album by Swift album listing their favorite songs on each. Then one of the girls pondered the imponderable: Which Taylor Swift song is the most skippable? She actually said that out loud and didn’t die or anything. I would answer, but I don’t want to get hit by a meteor.

9. My daughter wants me to stay up tonight until 11 p.m.—like 11 o’clock AT NIGHT—to listen to the new Shake It Off, but the only reason I'm ever awake at 11 p.m. is if my bed is on fire, so that’s a hard no. Also, see No. 7.

10. Ya damn right I'm going to get up and dance.

11. 2.5 hours of not having to hear about Travis Kelce or 13 plus 87 equals 100 or who’s at the Chiefs game or is their relationship real.

12. Two words: Glitter and friendship bracelets.